I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH MY ART AND IT BREAKS MY HEART 💔💔💔

This one has been building up inside me for a while now. Weeks. Months. Actually, years.
This is something that I have been struggling with for I don’t know, over a decade...longer really.

And right now, I am going to pour this all out.
Real. Raw. Honest.
My heart and soul, stripped bare, wide open.

Because honestly, I don’t see what the point of living any other way is!
And...
I don’t know HOW else to DO life.
So here goes…

I can't keep up with my art and it breaks my heart.💔

The ideas. The artworks. The words. The pieces. The inspirations. The designs.

I can’t keep up with it.

The writing.
The poetry.
The jewellery.
The ceramics.
The sculpture.
The paintings.
The messages.
The designs.

IT’S JUST SO MUCH.

I can’t get it out.
Much.
Barely.
At all.
Sometimes.
Never.

And, it is breaks heart and soul.

To not get it out.
Into form.
Or artwork.
Or scultpure.
Or piece.
Or book.
Or audio.
Or what EVER form it comes to me AS.

I can’t keep up.

It’s like I have my mouth open under a gushing fire-hose.

Instead of drinking it all up, taking it in,

I’m drowning,

I’m drowning in my art.

And, the real, raw, honest truth is -

I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know how to keep up.
I don’t know how to get it out.
Some, I don't even have the materials to create.

I feel like I am drowning in my art, in my ideas, in my creations, in my inspirations.

And, as I think about that weight and

I FEEL THE PRESSURE

AND THE FORCE OF IT ALL...

It brings me to tears. Like it is now as I write this. Streaming down my face. And breaks my heart a little more every time.

💔

And as I sit here by the pool, in Bali, and write this, in a bikini and the sun is shining and everything is so fucking glorious and beautiful and I just wrote a message about the Delicious Life which was TRUE and REAL and HONEST and from my SOUL, as always….

Also, I feel like this-

How do I get this out?
How can I create these pieces?
These jewels?
The ceramics?
The paintings?
The sculptures?
These artworks?
These designs?
These books?
These poems?

And…

ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS!?!?!?!

It hurts my heart. And, it makes me cry.

Because this feels like -

MY OWN ART IS BREAKING MY OWN HEART.

And, really that -

MY OWN ESSENCE IS BREAKING MY OWN HEART.

💔

Do you know what I mean?
Have you ever felt like this?
Do you feel like this?

Like you have SO MUCH INSIDE YOU, READY TO EXPLODE all over the world and your life 💥 but you don’t have a clue how to get done or created or OUT OF YOU!!!

And you really cannot keep up with this firehose that is drowning you??!?!!!

And NO-ONE ever TAUGHT you about THIS, let alone what to DO!

Loooooool! And so you just sink deeper into it all, and it's like quick-sand EXCEPT IT'S PAINFULLY SLOW AND HEART BREAKING!

But, this is not new, like I said it's been over a decade.

This is what I know. What I DO KNOW TO DO -

Slow for a moment. Breathe. Listen in. To you. Tune to your intuition. Follow through.

Because, there is a WAY.

❤️

I know, you too are filled with messages and books and pieces and artworks. That you can’t keep up with. Or get out...sometimes AT ALL. And it makes you cry.

So gorgeous, cry.

And then…

Breathe.

Breathe in the knowing that YOU are NOT ALONE.

Because, you are not alone in this feeling, in the drowning, in the art breaking your own heart.💔

I am here. With you. Feeling you. KNOWING you. Supporting you.

And, there is a way through all of this.

And I’m going to keep going ALWAYS.

Never give up. Do my best, do all I can, to get it out, to create, to make, to share, and to continue to create my life and my art...

To inspire, to uplift and shine my light for you ❤️

xxx

Lauren Raso

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